If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
