he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
