Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
