I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
