That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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