Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize