i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
