we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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