Quick, to the slutcave!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
