I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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