and you said cock pushups were impossible
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't notice because vodka
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Panties = found
Randomize
