WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
