See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
