I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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