is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
