We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
