On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just forgot I was standing up.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
