And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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