So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
