bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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