My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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