dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
