you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
