So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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