everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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