I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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