You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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