drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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