We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
