is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
