Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
