Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
