I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
