Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
