and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
