If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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