I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
