weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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