New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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