'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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