No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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