We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
