Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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