And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
