I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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