You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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