Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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