he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
