He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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