I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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