I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
