shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
