lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
