We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
