Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
