hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
