DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize