He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
