theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Boobs speak an international language.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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