he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
