I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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