It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
